You tell me everything and I never say much , I just claim to be a quiet person. But we do have 3 things in common you know of so you say you understand me. Were both depressed, both have guy worries and both admit to lying sometimes, you just tell details to me and I dont.
Were the same your so sure , if you only knew.
So sense I never tell much here is a few of the small things we both do but have different reasons so you can convince yourself more how alike we are.
- you worry when getting dressed if your showing enough cleavage that he will notice you, I worry that once the decision is made if mine have to be cut off to save me and I'm left with none if he will still notice me.
- you hurry to hide your phone when he enters the room so he doesnt see who you were texting and get upset, I hurry to hide the blood in my hand I just spit up when I coughed so he doesnt see it and get upset.
- He invites you to the mall with him and you wonder on the drive what he will buy you , He invites me to the mall and I wonder on the drive if I'm going to be able to concentrate to hide the pain long enough to walk the mall
- You hope he has a easy day at work so he isnt tired afterwards because you want yall to go out, I secretly hope he has a busy day at work so he comes home tired wanting to lay down early because I'm running out of excuses why I dont want to go anywhere sense I wont be honest and say I'm to weak , I would rather him annoyed because I dont want to then see the pain in his face thinking I'm not ok
- You have huge fits over everything because to you it is a big deal that he wont wash his own dishes, I have to fake being lazy and let him wash his own knowing its killing me to watch him why I lay there but I just cant tell him I'm to weak that day to stand at the sink. Once again seeing him annoyed is easier then seeing his heartbreak.
- You stand naked in the mirror after your bath and fuss about those few extra pounds or that tan line you got last week mowing grass , I stand naked in the mirror and cry because you can count my ribs from a mile away they stick out so far , I have no tan line just pale white skin glued tightly to the bone showing underneath.
- Dinner time comes and you try to hold conversation at the table with him about his day , I sit quiet pretending to be bored or have nothing to say in order to hide that with every bite it's a entire body struggle to keep it down.
- You say you lie to protect him and dont want him angry, you will calm down and quit talking to other boys your just not ready yet but you dont wont to loose him. I say I lie to protect him as well I just never say why right, well that's the big question right so you can see were alike and feel better about it all.....
I lie to protect him because loosing him isnt a option for me , it's not a if but a when and No lie can change that, but that look upon his face of complete fear and heartbreak when he was told the news , that look I can lie to keep from seeing again to keep him from feeling that everyday. Everyday he ask how I feel , am I ok , are things getting worse like they said it would , every day I lie I say I'm fine , I dont need anything , I just dont wanna go , I dont wanna eat alot , I just dont want to. Seeing him annoyed with me or calling me boring is better than him hurting over something he cant control.
So Darling girl who loves to vent to me as I smile quietly and seam to agree, yes we are the same some but I pray your never just like me.