Hello, I have chronic pain in my left leg that has effected me for eight years now. I've had four surgeries and meanwhile I was being abused . This is not for sympathy as a matter of fact me and sympathy aren't good friends . I want to share my story so that maybe it could help someone else because it's kinda a rare story and sorry for how long it is☺️. My bones crumbled when I was 11 years old and at that point we had just moved away from the house I grew up in because my father had gone to jail for sexual abuse. It was all a big shock and life seemed so chaotic never mind the physical pain kicking in. My mother was addicted to so many drugs we couldn't believe she lived through taking all of them and my brother ( My partner in crime ) was going mentally crazy for awhile ... Hearing voices and seeing things all the time . I have thirteen siblings and I'm the youngest but we only lived with four at the time. My one sister who had been abused really bad started getting into people pleasing and she'd do anything to make someone love her so she was my mom's drug dealer basically at 15 years old. These times were so bad that I just stayed up most nights crying on the bedroom floor praying that the cops would get my mom or that someone would see how broken we all were and try to help ... Nobody did. My mother didn't let us go to school so growing up I had no homeschooling or education higher than the third grade. Few months went by and at 12 I had a bone graft on my leg and that's when my life ended before I even knew what normal was. My doctor butchered my leg and left bone fragments in my skin and I remember that night I just bled and bled through all the dressings and knew something wasn't right . We then went to another doctor and he cleaned up the surgery from the previous doctor but it was too late. I was then diagnosed with Complex Regional pain syndrome at age 14 and I also become my mother's pill dispenser . Doctors gave me drugs like candy but little did they know that they were feeding her addiction and feeding our misery . Eventually we got chased by detectives and moved to TN for two months the day after my third surgery . It was one of the most unbearable experiences of my life.
Many things happened between then but fast forward two years at age 16 my mom threatened to kill us and she did that before but I really believed her that night so I decided to hide in the bathroom with my brother and we hid knives in there till morning and then I told on her. Court cases and tuns of stuff happened like too long of a story but eventually I'll tell people about it. Anyway when the chaos with my mom had settled then I went into EMERGENCY SERVICES that took lots of studying but I became top of my class and that showed me that I could be the person I needed for that little girl who just wanted someone anyone to help her... To save her . I fell in love with the medical field and I know what it's like to be poked with needled all night long and pumped full of drugs till I vomited in the bathroom all night . So I decided I was going to be the change that some little boy and little girl needed. But sadly that year I started emergency services , My brother who is a police officer moved into my house cause he came from Tennessee and he started sexually and emotionally abusing me. At first I didn't know how to act so I pretend I was oblivious but then the abuse got worse so I told my sister and she got me out. The week I told her I then got so depressed and I just couldn't live with the physical pain or emotional exhaustion anyone so I decided to overdose on everything and anything I could find. I barely made it that night but my one brother saved me and I was hospitalized for quite some time after that. When I got out of that hospital my pain got 100% worse to where I was in the emergency room every night having flare ups and they would pump me full of so many drugs that I was just a zombie and so sick everyday . It went this bad for almost a month straight but that felt like an eternity in the eyes of someone who just didn't think she could go on. I was then hospitalized for 1.5 months eight hours away from my home in Boston children's hospital where tuns of physical therapy was done. After all of this I decided enough is enough and this pain, this abuse and all the brokenness that's tried to consume me and take me under... It can not defeat my purpose and who I want to become because I didn't fight this hard to never reach my dreams . So I studied and studied and took so many hours of tests and now here I am today getting my medical equipment because this fall im going to be an EMT then an RN -PA-NP became ladies if I can tell you one thing it is that there is a reason why you've suffered and you have a purpose beyond fighting . I'm still learning mine but for now I know that it is to take my pain and save someone else from it. It is to let someone know that even having no education you can study and build a success story like you'd never imagined . Even when you give up on life ... You can turn it all around and not let it turn you around . You can do it because if I did somehow got through the little life I've lived then I promise love you can too❤️ DON'T EVER GIVE UP and DON'T EVER SAY YOUR NOT ENOUGH . Don't hate the abusers because they are the reason you are so strong and you can love a stranger and be real with them when they are scared and broken . so thanks to the people who hurt me, Abused and said I could never do it because I'm it and we as women are all doing it. And thanks to all my loves who have stuck with me and supported me because I promise I'll never let you down. End of my story ladies is to BE THE CHANGE and live a life that's unstoppable ❤️