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in Women by (14.8k points)

I just need to vent. (This is long) Last year, I had a miscarriage, then went through a hellish separation and divorce. I worked with a women's shelter, had a gofundme up, and had to live with my ex through the bulk of our separation. All while I've been a stay at home mom.

My friends kept inviting me out on nights my ex was home, the women's shelter advised me not to accept the gofundme funds (it was set up for me). However, I needed them for attorneys fees, food, medical, etc. Some hateful people close to my "friends" spread rumors that the funds were used for going out, when they weren't. I posted a ton about bath bombs and lotions I was making to SELL and they accused me of spending the funds on beauty products for myself, despite the fact that I had customers. One person even started advising people not to buy from me. I received a thousand and had receipts to back up what I had spent it on. Almost everyone ditched me, despite that fact. My family has stuck by my side and paid the bulk of my attorneys fees and helped me and my kids when funds ran low. My ex refused to help with daycare or the kids so I could look for a job, so I was stuck. We mediated, with my ex ordered to pay child support, repair my car completely, pay half of the financed medical bills, etc. This was as of September. He never paid CS until mid December. To this date, medical bills have not been reimbursed and financed bills haven't been paid. My car is mostly broken down and he's not repaired it.

When my ex moved out, we came up with a list of stuff he had to take care of in the house/fix prior to moving out that were his responsibilities and the LL signed off on it all. The LL did a walkthrough and OKed his work even though it was only half done and he left the house trashed. It took me a few months to take care of everything my LL agreed were my exes responsibilities, including removing a monumental amount of trash and car parts from our yard. I got zero credit from any of it. To boot, I paid the deposit, but my LL, without discussing it with me, reimbursed my ex the deposit even with everything unfinished.

Fast forward to now: I got a roommate and have been receiving CS and doing side work and have been able to scrape by. My plan was to keep applying for everything that could afford me a living wage if CS ever fell through, get to the summer when I'd split the summer with my ex, work for a temp if I didn't have a FT job, and then go from there to get on my feet since I'd only need daycare for half the summer and could work the rest.

My ex's job stopped deducting CS for a month, which got me behind on rent. My LL told me I could do repairs he planned on doing to make it up. I have been cleaning houses, selling my possessions, etc. to get by. My toddler accidentally broke my phone, so I have been almost completely phone free for 3 weeks and dkfny have internet for part of that time except when I used my iPad at public locations. I I formed my LL of this. When I didn't answer all his calls, except the ones I received while in internet range, he got upset. I again explained and had started the work on the house. He saw it, approved, and said we could move forward. He's now going back on that and wants me out, which I just found out. He didn't even credit me for the work done so far. I'm paying him what I can and trying to get caught up. I finally got an old phone from a friend, but none of my contacts transferred over. So I've been juggling working whatever way I can, selling my stuff, etc., now I have to add packing to that. My car has been breaking down and my family has busted their butts getting it safe for my kids and I, despite the fact that legally, its my ex's responsibly.

I feel helpless. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude. I have places I can take my girls for the summer while I save money and hopefully get temp work that will hopefully lead to FT work. I've interviewed places, but always been shot down when they find out I'm a 4-year Stay at Home Mom. I know so many women go through this or something similar. What do you do? How do you get through this all? I've been dealing with awful depression and anxiety, but trucking along for my kids.

*I don't blame my landlord. I get its convoluted and he needs his rent, I just don't appreciate him saying I could work on the house + me doing work he acknowledged wasn't my responsibility, praising my work, then going back on the one thing that would have helped me/him - he'd have age-old repairs done and I'd be able to make up for rent and catch up on rent. We never really had a problem until the last couple months.

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