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in Relationship by (14.1k points)

It is so encouraging to read all the stories up here and all the quotes... 
I think I need some encouragement and wisdom and the strength to make some changes.. 
So about two years ago I found out that my husband was unfaithful. That he's always been. That he has a son from before we got married and he never took on responsibility for him..
I have spent two years trying to gather hope, start over, get the conversations going, plan for things to do together or as a family, without much enthusiasm from him - he behaves as if he doesn't need me, he doesn't leave but he is not there emotionally either. It's like being married to an absent minded person who mostly prefers being left to his own thing. 
We have 3 year old twins.

I think I would've left him two years ago, but I'm still not totally convinced that this is the best for the kids.

He's been talking to take a break and going to leave with a friend. I decided to stop working for a few months and take the kids abroad and spend some quality time with them. I fear they'll miss him. I hope we'll manage well. I hope I'll realise that I can do this without him.

I don't want to be selfish. 
I don't want to be weak.

I believe in God and I truly thought I was marrying for life. I adored, respected and admired my husband. 
Now I feel I was a fool to fall for him. 
And for being blinded to his ways.

I just wish he turned around to say that he understands how his behavior is affecting me, that he's truly sorry, that he will do anything to turn this story around. 
But he doesn't.

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