You will NOT talk to me like I am stupid .
You will NOT be powerful enough to allow me to think as low of myself as you speak of me .
You will NOT make me feel worthless .
You will NOT make me afraid of you.
I will NOT walk on eggshells for fear of saying the wrong things .
I will NOT allow you to disrespect me the way you behave around other women.
I will NOT tolerate any form of abuse or infidelity.
I will NOT go to bed in tears at night because of the cruel words you’ve spoken to me .
I will NOT feel like a burden when I AM the one keeping this household together .
I will NOT be made to feel less than the strong woman I have worked so hard to become.
I will not allow myself to be disrespected while I stand there and honor YOU and respect you as one should be respected .
Wait .. I will though.
I will cry myself to sleep at night because the things you said hurt me .
I will sit back and watch you disrespect me in ways that are sad and demeaning .
I will feel like the burden in my own home as I take care of our family .
I have grown to be afraid ...
There are days that I DO feel worthless , that self worth decreases with every jab to my character , and every conversation you’ve had with other women behind my back.
Why.. why do I feel this way?
Why do I hurt so bad , why is this Love full of pain?
Because I ALLOW it.
Not only do I allow it , but I keep coming back for more.
I keep coming back because I love him and want so desperately for him... to love... ME.
I want to feel worthy of the kind of love that I give away...What I allow is what will continue, and it sure does .
There are times the pillow isn’t soaked from tears, because he simply doesn’t come home on those nights.
I’ve went from a woman who demanded respect to a woman who can’t even hold her head up high enough to say the word respect out loud.
I’ve allowed him to turn me into the version of myself that I swore I would never be .
I’ve turned into the other women who have left you, the ones you said were “crazy”.
God only knows , YOU lead them there .
I put up with it because I thought I loved you, I thought I could love you enough to make it stop.
And you treated me that way, because you DIDN’T love me ... at all... you didn’t know how, and I was tired of teaching you. So ladies , before you ask yourself WHY he’s treating you this way, ask yourself who is allowing him to ...
We can’t ever control who hurts us , but we can certainly control how long we will allow them to .
He’s still hurting you, because your still around .
Sometimes when you leave , you leave the hurt behind ..
Please don’t stay in a place that hurts ...more than it doesn’t hurt. I'm kinda all in my feelings this morning and just wanted to share some of my PAST experience... I know there is many of you that can probably relate. Sad truth is... When you're in a abusive relationship (physical or mental) no matter how many times they say they've changed, it never gets better. At least for me it didn't. Walk while you can.. You deserve so much more❤