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in Women by (14.1k points)

I'm worried that many ladies in this group don't have an understanding of healthy love and gravitate to broken love. It's a process that is not over night. Now some ladies are blessed to find someone who helps them but the truth is it's not likely. What is likely is perpetuating a cycle of broken love. So here is what I learned. I stopped trying to be with anyone for a long time. I had to learn who I am with no one else pushing their agenda on me. I had to learn to be alone with myself and be happy because I was always on to the next relationship because the loneliness would bother me so bad. Loneliness is an addiction too. If I couldn't be with myself how could anyone else be with me. I also took this time to connect with my creator and educate myself. I focused on being a better mother. It took me about a year but one New years night : I was watching a movie drinking a glass of wine with no drama and In that moment I was happy with just me. Once I began to love myself a standard was set. I treated myself as a Queen and I accept nothing less. When you have a standard you can bypass the bull and drama. Do not ignore RED FLAGS AND BE PATIENT. It took about 2 years before I let a friend become my King. He pushes me to be better. We're both in Law school. We pray together. We laugh together. Healthy love asks you not only did you eat today but what did you eat today? It reminds you you need more fruits/ veggies and water. It counsels you. It gives you it's last. It protects you as much as possible. Most importantly it is consistent. The process I went through taught me how to be loved. I knew how to love but I didn't know how to be loved ( healthy). So until I went through this process I identified with broken love and perpetuated an unhealthy cycle. I'm not judging anyone or telling anyone what to do. I'm just telling you what helped me. Peace and Blessings.

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