Practice saying these statements to yourself. Let surface any resistance to believing them. See if you can make them “fit”. Try and believe them at a deep core level. Say them over and over, slowly as if they were true. Let them comfort that part of you that is critical, judgemental and impatient.
1. I do not need other people’s approval to feel happy and worthwhile.
2. My self-worth does not depend on what others think of me.
3. If someone rejects me, it does not mean there is something wrong with me.
4. If someone criticizes me, it does not mean that I am a worthless person.
5. Being alone does not mean I have to be unhappy.
6. I may prefer to have someone love me, but I do not need their love to be happy.
7. I am not worth less than others who are more attractive than I am or who are in better health than I am.
8. I am not worth less than others who are more intelligent or more successful than I am.
9. I do not have to be outstanding at everything or anything to be a worthwhile person.
10. My self-worth does not depend on how productive or successful I am.
11. I do not have to be perfect. It is more helpful to give reasonable effort to achieve reasonable goals.
12.If I make mistakes, it does not mean that I am a worthless person.
13. It serves no purpose to endlessly punish myself for my mistakes. Admit, accept, learn from and move on.
14.There is no rule that says people have to meet my expectations.
15. I am not entitled to success, love, happiness or health. Much of it is hard work; much of it is chance. Life is often not fair.
16. I do not have to control the way other people treat me. The way other people treat me is not an indication of my self-worth.
17. What is happening to other people is most often beyond my control and not my fault.
18. Everything that happens is not a reflection of me. I am not the centre of the universe.
19. If others are upset or annoyed, it does not mean that I have done something wrong.
20,When I say or do something that others do not agree with, it does not mean that I am a worthless person.
21. If others criticize me, or reject me, or disappointment me, or let me down, or make mistakes, it does not mean that they are bad, worthless people. We are all fallible human beings.
22. Even though I have had problems in the past, it does not mean there will be problems in the future.
23. My feelings are a result of the way I am thinking: about myself, about others and about the events affecting my life. I can change the way I am feeling by changing what I am thinking.
24. My bad moods are not beyond my control.
25. There are no shoulds, no musts, no have-tos.
26. It may take time and hard work to change some thoughts and beliefs, but the time and the work are worth it.
Make your own personal list of rational coping statements. Keep a copy with you. Review it several times a day. Pick one or two and use them as mantras during your day.