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ago in Women by (14.8k points)

My husband wants me to live with his parents and just be the perfect daughter-in-law. Right now we live in the U.S.A. He either wants them to come here or we go to India and live there. They hate me because I did not prove to be of any financial benefit (dowry) to them. I cannot work because of visa restrictions in the U.S A. My husband is an engineer. He keeps his bank accounts secret and sends large amounts every month to his parents... Goes out to buy expensive gifts and sends a lot of cash to his married sister, nephew, cousins and aunties. He has accumulated a lot of debt because of this. He earns very well but its never enough for them!

I know this is wrong and I have tried to explain to him in every way possible but he thinks I have no right to say. He gives me money for groceries and he pays the bills so he feels he has done his part. I should not worry about his debts. I personally have never borrowed money from anyone ever. I always lived frugally and I had surplus so slow ans steady with the help of proper investments i was able to buy a small apartment of my own before marriage without any loan.

I don't want his money. I married because he was a humble guy and I fell in love with his simplicity. But after marriage he has always been arrogant and rude to me. Always demotivating, emotionally abusive and always borrowing money from banks/friends to send to them. I cannot tolerate this. I want to know do you have a legal right over his money and is there a way I can stop this. He is ready to divorce me if I don't give up my choices. He is for sure that he will choose his parents over me if required. It wasn't like this before marriage when we were dating.

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