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in Women by (14.8k points)

So, not sure why I am posting this - we all have our day to day battles. We all have our stories. Yesterday, I had a ganglion cyst removed. It popped up randomly last October on the top / outside area of my foot and ankle. Sports doctor said it could possibly go away on its own. It has not and I am not sure why, maybe swelling, but I apparently rubbed a callous across the top of my foot / ankle. I am an avid runner and a cardio addict. So, maybe my shoes played into all of this. Anyway, had surgery yesterday to remove the cyst and according to my husband, the callous across the top of my foot was removed too. Not sure why, but it does not help the pain level at all. I can barely walk on this and I am doing everything in my power to avoid the pain pills I was prescribed. They are low level hydrocodone and I only have 10. My addiction is cardio - just plain and simple. But, addiction runs in my family. I lost my dad on June 25th, 2010 when he mixed alcohol and prescription meds and I got the surprise phone call the next day. I lost my sister in 2013. She was found on her couch. She was an alcoholic. My brother is in prison for something done under the influence of Klonopin and beer.

Me - I drink, but I keep it within limits. Always have. There are days I just do not want to be around it. I hate taking pills. Always have. I have questioned myself time and time and time again how this cycle has missed me - as I have such strong guilt at times for being the strong one. Not that I am not grateful - you know. I tell my story in hopes it helps others. I just find it crazy to be surrounded by so much addiction and not really be affected by it. My husband actually struggles with alcohol from time to time.

I am sitting here not moving. Not wiggling my toes. Not stretching. Not doing anything to cause pain just to avoid taking pain medication. Sadly, I have no Tylenol in the house - my husband will bring some tonight after work. I did take Ibuprofen as my foot and toes were swollen this morning.

I am a brain tumor survivor. I am a survivor of loss. It is my goal in life to be the absolute best that I can be - not only was I given a second chance at life after my tumor (non cancerous, but it was very developed and dangerous), but I want to do all things in life that my dad, my sister, and my brother can not. I have run 8 half marathons, one full marathon (my sister was a runner in her better days), and once I get back on my feet, I plan to hit the pavement again and indulge in my addiction - cardio. I am not trying to brag, toot my horn, or sound like I am better. Heavens knows, I am not. This is the life I was given.

And it hurts right now. LOL.

Stay strong ladies. 

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