My apologies for the long post, but I need help. This is this first time I have said that out loud or typed it. I just spent 5 years battling someone else's addiction. It has torn my heart apart and my home. This was also an abusive relationship, and I ignored it thinking it would get better, until I finally reached the point of knowing it wouldn't get better and still just waited with my thumb up my ass praying he would just leave. He finally left, after 12 broken bones and a torn up house. I don't want to be the type that looks for sympathy but I need it right now. I struggle to do things for people even when I can't feed myself and I've never asked for anything in return. I've always believed that we get what we out into the world. But I've come to a point where because of my shitty decisions of enabling someone ( which I thought was loving them) have cost me my home. My house is on the tax sale list, it will be sold the 4th Monday of August unless I come up with the money. He has also destroyed my home. I don't know how I let it happen, as long as it took it sure seemed like split seconds or minutes in my mind.
I was making money as an astrologer, it was so rewarding to help people and also make hundreds of dollars a day. Unfortunately, I could no longer do that with the scattered energy in this house. I am trying my hardest to clear my mind and get back where I need to be but for the first time in my life, EVERYTHING seems impossible.
I'm always the first person to offer assistance to anyone I know in need, and even step out to help strangers, so this is a weird situation to find myself in when I'm almost too proud to ask. I've come here to ask for guidance, or positive vibes. Or maybe just the opportunity to get it all off of my chest.
I simply don't know what to do at this point and it really does feel impossible. I don't understand how what I thought was " loving someone" got me here. But yet here I am.
These are pictures of my house before and after. If anyone can help with anything whether it is time, money, or helpful advice ..it is much appreciated and can always be returned. I just feel lost and in need of some major support.
I appreciate any good vibes and prayers I can get